Temporary Shower

Dear Caila, You are now 1.5 weeks old. You came into this world a stubborn little thing. We had a hard time getting to the pushing phase. I went in at 7am on Jan 1 2cm dilated and maybe progressed to 3cm on high-dose Pitocin by 8pm. But then, mommy got an epidural. Before I knew it, it was 5am and we were ready to push! I pushed you for 3 hours! It turns out you were not as small as we thought. I don’t know how to describe the shear pain, joy, and relief at the moment you came into this world. You were SO chubby! I still can’t believe I was able to push all 8lbs and 2.5 ozs of you out but here you are…..1.5 weeks later and sleeping soundly in your pack n play Oh darling, the last week has been some of the best and worst in my entire life. The stress, worry, and sleepless nights were juxtaposed by watching your sweet cheeks, curious eyes, and the love everyone has for you. Highlights include having your aunt Lilly around for a few days to help take care of us, watching your da

Dear Caila, It is officially your birthday and I am so scared and excited to meet you. For the past 39 weeks, you have only been a figment of my imagination. I wonder what you will look like; will you have more of my features or your dad? Gosh I hope you are fat and cute!.....but not too fat so I can push you out faster haha. I have know all my life that I wanted to be a mother but now that the time is near, I am plagued by worry. How will I keep you safe? How will I teach you to be strong, smart, independent women? I am nervous to hold you for the first time, for the potential ups and downs of the first few weeks, and for the inevitable change that is about to take place in my life. I am scared about the pain of childbirth and feel a bit guilty that I am inducing you early. But love….I want more time with you and I hope you will forgive me. Besides, the world will light up with fireworks every year you are here J Oh little one, I will miss having you in my stomach. You h