Temporary Shower

Happy New Year! It has been so nice coming home to family/friends after a vacation away. I have decided nobody should come home from a vacation just to start working right away! Dave and I celebrated Christmas with my family and his. We had several game nights (one more to come tonight) and we ate a lot. In the words of my sister, we have gained a “layer of winter fat”. Here are some pictures from Costa Rica So much eating every day!!! Weirdo and her boyfriend Too fat for a two-piece haha Sad to leave I have slowly started to study again but I really have very little motivation. After getting some rest and reflecting back on the last few weeks, I think I was definitely burned out. I really am not doing too bad overall but I think I could afford the break I talked about in my last post. Haha….the competitive side of me still wants to regain my motivation and try for honors in surgery but I think for my mental health in the long run, I should probably slow ...

I wrote this post on monday but didn't have time to upload pictures till now.... This weekend I went down to southern Utah with Dave. We originally wanted to do a 3 mile hike in monument valley but we left late so decided to forgo the extra 2 hour drive just for a 3 mile hike. Instead, we got to Moab around 4pm Friday and decided to do a 2 mile hike to Corona Arch. Dave had never been and since it was a relatively easy hike, we both had a lot of fun.   Our ultimate destination was Mesa Verde so we drove further south and camped right outside the park at a KOA in cortez. I have never booked a KOA before (though I think I stayed at one with my parents). The campground was very nice and clean and the options ranged from full sized cabins to camping spots (with electricity and water!). We opted just to camp but seeing the Teepees made me think that next time, we can try something different. Dave got the campfire going while I set up camp but since it was already 8 and the...

I have been thinking about what to write but nothing is coming up. I have a loooonnnng laundry list of things I need to do but I can’t seem to cross even one thing off my list. This is mostly because I am dependent on some other people for most of these things but it is driving me crazy. Amongst the things I need to do are some more research papers. I am trying to collaborate with some ophthalmologists to beef up my resume but one of my experiments fell through this week (because the samples were bad) and the other one is stalled because I have to meet with the PI to go through the data. Blah I guess I am also a bit nervous because there are so many changes ahead. I will no longer be working in a lab, Dave is changing jobs, I will be married soon, and I won’t be able to travel as much. So much change in a short amount of time makes me really nervous. OK...enough compliant.  Some developments: I celebrated my 28th birthday! Eeek I feel old. Dave and I went to Ikea ...

I didn’t realize how much sunshine can influence my mood but looking back, I think I have been a bit blah over the past month. But…the dark days are over, the sun is out, and for the first time yesterday, Dave and I went on a bike ride! We biked for about 7 miles around the lake near his house and it was glorious! Then we went to Costco because I had to get some food for two parties: our annual lab March birthday party (because my PI’s birthday is in March) and a Pi day party tomorrow. We ended the night with some healthy beans and salmon.   Yum! Today I had the privilege of hearing Leroy Hood give a talk on the future of science. He has received numerous awards for his work on big data collection, DNA sequencing, etc and he is very influential in the scientific world. He founded multiple companies…latest of which is a wellness company. He thinks the future of science and medicine is studying wellness. Though I think his “wellness industry” is just a euphemism for “preventati...

It looks like I am only managing one post per week these days but it is better then nothing so it will have to do. I have been busy…with work, friends, etc. On Saturday, I went to the gym and then went to work for a few hours. I had a meeting with my boss to go over the manuscript I am about to submit. It was actually a very productive meeting. My boss is a strategic thinker and we were able to hash out the weaknesses in my paper and how to better improve it so that it has a chance of being reviewed. For those that don’t know, a good scientific article must stand the rigors of pure review. You usually try to send it to a high impact journal (aka…those with good impact factors), and then you wait to see if it will be reviewed. For journals like Nature and Cell, only about 10% of papers submitted will be reviewed and out of those, only a handful is actually accepted. If you do have the privilege of having a paper reviewed, you wait for 2-3 reviewers to read it and send the edit...

So....my rescue experiment worked! YAY! If you have ever done research, you will know that it is not enough to find/define and phenotype. It doesn't matter if you think something is caused by a certain pathway or some gene is important for disease, you really have to prove it. And, the most definitive proof is if you can down/up-regulate that gene/protein/pathway and rescue your phenotype. Today, I accomplished just that aim! This means I can start writing my first paper all by myself. I feel like a big kid...you know...like one that doesn't have to wear diapers anymore or something along those lines. If all goes well, I can churn out another paper in the next few years and be done with this whole business. The only problem is, I've never actually written a paper. The last time I wrote something was for this blog and we all know how different scientific writing is. Eek...I am scared. 

Two unrelated topics. First, I am sick of being judged by PhDs to be incompetent because I am  also getting an MD! No, the PhD is not easier for me then it is for you. Yes, I don't have to take the same number of classes as you but I am SORRY if my 2 years of med school classes = your 1 year of PhD classes. And if I don't know something, it is not because I am a med student. It is because I actually don't know it! You didn't at one point either! I swear the arrogant wanna-be researchers who ARE MDs give us a bad rep. And the arrogant MD/PhDs just add fuel to the fire. Case in point...there is a fellow down the hall from me who is making everyone mad because he thinks he knows everything. Yet he can't get any data. It doesn't matter that everyone else can do the exact same procedure with favorable results...he just can't do it and he thinks it's not his fault. Then, I went to another MD/PhD's defense and she had nothing. NOTHING! No papers, no co-a...

This is going to be a somewhat depressing entry on humanity and science. I think we all enter med school with notions like "we are going to help"...."we will save lives" etc. but to get there is somewhat of a struggle. Up to this point, we are supported by our parents, our peers and deep down, each of us believes we can do this....whether we want to be a doctor or engineer or any type of high functioning members of society. Yet it is ironic that as we advance, we start getting pushed down. It has been my observation that the weak get trampled. If you are not emotionally strong, a bit selfish, or a bit uncaring, comments from resident/attendings/PIs can really eat away at you. What hurts the most is not just going through this "higher education" system myself but also watching it destroy someone close to me. Do I say something? Do I stand by and do nothing because I've worked so hard to get to this point? I have resolved to say something but so far, co...

Sorry for the long hiatus. Things have been busy but I'm prepping a poster now for our MD/PhD conference in two days. I have no real data but still....I have to present so I'm making do. I'm also learning to balance things again. I'm going to the gym every day now which is really good not only for my body but also for my psyche. And, I'm allowing myself to take time of for family/friends. Haha...I'm even starting to date again but in all seriousness, I'm not sure how long this balance will last. One of the things I'm loving is my roadbike. It's detracting me from running but I still have a month before my half marathon right? RIGHT? Lol...seriously though, I just feel so accomplished after hard rides on my bike. I'm thinking about going on a bike tour sometime next summer.... As for my family, Baby's birthday is coming up. She is turning 4. I remember when she was just a baby....time flies. She is now talking bucket loads and man...I lo...

I knew coming into grad school would be hard but I didn't think it would be this hard. Perhaps it's me putting too much pressure on myself but I just hate disappointing people. Lately, with the lack of sleep comes a new onset of worries...will I be good enough? Am I going to be able to carry a project on my own? Crap I don't understand anything! Crap there won't be anyone to explain it to me! etc If anyone has been in a lab long enough, they know the success of a project is one part hard work, one part luck, and one part who you know so I'm trying to tred carefully and not piss anyone off. This is very tiring. Sometimes, I feel like I should wear a sign that says "Harmless idiot". lol On a different note, my glasses broke so I am wearing my contacts now...I'm not sure how I like them. On the one hand, it is convenient esp when I run/bike but I look really weird. I guess I just need to get use to it and have people around me stop gawking. At the en...

Call me crazy but I actually like being at work on the weekends. There is no one around and I'm free to walk/run around without fear. In addition, I get full access to everything. :) Today I am doing two pull-downs and attempting to genotype. Of course I'm too novice to be entrusted with actual genotype work so as I acclimate to my new role, I am spending my time "checking" other people's work. It's a good thing too because I seem to forget a lot of things....1% gel or 3% gel...3% milk but what exactly do I dilute it with? Such stupidity is best left for the weekends where there is no one around to see me screw up. As a bonus, I don't have to read papers while at work. Instead, I get to do things like...I don't know...update my blog. I don't know about you but in the actual M-F work environment, I always feel obligated to be doing something productive. Even when I'm not doing experiments, I feel like I should be reading papers or something...

Started the PhD portion of my MD/PhD today and so far so good. I was a bit nervous because I haven't ran an experiment for awhile but luckily all I had to do was a pull-down. I'm glad I wasn't incompetent on my first day back! That said, I'm sure the next month will be a steep learning curve. I have to take over someone's project (meaning learn mouse genetics/how to keep colonies alive) AND I have to help someone else out with there project. I'm excited though! I've always been good with my hands and it's just nice not having to bury my nose in books all the time. I'm currently reading Michael Au's book and it's AMAZING. I LOVE narrative medicine and yes....I consider it leisurely reading. It's weird how a test distorts your perceptive but I actually had a good time cleaning, shopping, writing emails, and updating my life today. I guess mundane stuff becomes "fun" when you don't get to do them that often. On a side note.....