Temporary Shower

Today was amazing. Work was slow since I didn't have any animal projects so I just ran around reading papers, getting coffee with friends, going to vendor shows, etc....it was nice. I then had B2B meeting with my team. I think we are close to finishing our project for the big competition next week....I am excited. Alex and I planned on seeing the play "Laughing Stock" today but I saw it with my mom last week and was pretty bored of it by the end so instead, we decided to hike the living room. However, the clouds moved in mid-afternoon and I thought it might rain. Alex (being a good sport) was up for doing the hike anyways so we did....in the rain...and it was amazing. Minus the wrong shoes on Alex's part and a few falls, we made it up and down. It was nice because we were the only ones hiking so we had the whole view to ourselves....it was quite an adventure :) We then got sushi at Ahh Sushi...half off night :) Alex and I had gigantic $3 beers but he got slightly...

So moab trip was great (see pics below) and my journal club went decently well. They told me I have to use more scientific language and order my introduction better but overall I think the department was impressed I picked a hard topic on a model organism I know very little about. Up next is a trip to St. George. I am only kindof excited now about the weekend trip because Lilly called tonight to talk about her major/being premed. She seems set on quitting it all which is fine but I guess I was a little upset because a) she is so close to finishing and I just don't want her to lose opportunities and b) it's my birthday and the call kindof ruined it. I immediately started worrying about how my dad would react....he has sacrificed a lot for Lilly and I. The one thing he wished for us is job security and by having Lilly do premed, he hoped that at least she will have something to fall back on and she is just so darn close. sigh Besides that, I had an amazing birthday. Experime...

I was at a coffee shop tonight with a friend and she mentioned a movie she saw called "The Whistleblower". The whole thing got us talking about human trafficking and I was surprised by the anger she felt and the genuine pain. I guess I have struggled for years with similar emotions towards inhumanity. It baffles me how one human being can be so cruel to another. In talking with Ash, I have decided that the best way to combat such issues is speak out so I wrote two poems...one on trafficking and the other on child abuse. I haven't mention this before because it so very personal but fear, shame, guilt, and pain are not excuses for silence. To Traffickers If I paint the face of your mother and your sister Over hers would you still do what you have done? Pull the soul out, tack it to a dirty window, and smear it with your hands? Who taught you that life’s fragility disappears with continuous use? Yet you use, abuse, confuse… If I chained her to you, would your con...

Since I can't sleep (side effect of napping from 7-12pm) I decided to read some of my past posts and I realized I've been kind of depressed. Sorry about that. It's unbelievable to me how hard these past eight months have been! The rewards of science are few and far between and people who survive either feed off of small successes (in hopes of bigger ones of course) or they just have a more stable personality then I. I've never thought about quitting anything more then I have thought about quitting this. Even today, I cried, laughed, made an advance in my project, and still don't feel very accomplished. I think I need to learn not to tie my self esteem to my job. The thing is, I don't have much else right now. My friends/family are busy and they have enough of their own problems to deal with so here I am depressing you every time I blog. In case you think I'm manically depressed, I have found avenues to destress: of late, I've been cooking A LOT. Here ...

I had lab meeting this morning and it was an unpleasant experience like always. This time was even worse.... unbeknownst to me, the new mice I've been working with for the past week were all conditional knockouts made with an inducible cre (this basically means you have to inject something to knockout your gene of interest). Hence, I was rather embarrassed to find (during lab meeting) that I have been doing 10+ hour experiments on WT mice. Like Matt said....I now have a lot of negative controls. No wonder why I didn't find any differences between the controls and "supposed" knockouts. lol. In other news, I have a few hurdles to overcome before the month is over (some fun and some not so fun). In chronological order: re-write a rebuttle for a paper go to moab with Ash (hopefully next weekend depending on how far I get with my journal club talk) give said journal club talk to my department (eeek...another dreaded presentation and this time on c.elegan genetics!) g...

Form an anchor like a cell holding onto fibrinogen Then expand and spread! Be nourished by the knowledge that you are bathed in a culture you belong Reach out your tendrils and Seek what may be your demise Remember: your presence is transient But mine depends

I think it is good to periodically define what we want from life. I had a list in High school and one in college and so...I will make another now: This is what I hope for 1) longevity for my family and friends. Nothing is more important to me then being surrounded by people I love. They have pulled me, dragged me, pushed me, supported me, etc into the person I am 2) a good family and dare I hope it....a great love 3) A career that I can be proud of 4) Time....for family, travel, humanitarian work, and life's little pleasures 5) humbleness in the face of success and courage in the face of adversity.