Temporary Shower

The past few days have been crazy. So much has happened! Last Thursday, I went to a Jimmy Eat World concert at the depot. I’m not a huge fan of their music (mostly because it reminds me of high school) but it was a date so whatever. Then, on Saturda,y I went to a lab party (not my lab bc we suck). It was a picnic party up city creek canyon with another lab that I collaborate with extensively. I was able to take baby and we had lots of fun. There was a stream by the camp site and baby loved to throw leaves into the stream to watch it wash away. After the picnic, I went on another date…this time hiking Lake Mary followed by dinner at Oh Mai and a movie. We were going to go to Red Ginger for sushi but there was a sign on the door that read: “Closed because staff are on vacation”. There has to be more than 20 people who work there so how can everyone be on vacation? And why didn’t it say when they will reopen? The whole thing was a bit fishy. But no worries because Oh Mai was delicio...

Work was looooong today. I had to inject a bunch of mice with tumor cells and it took forever to put the mice down. I hate mice experiments but it is a necessary part of the trade. Because I have been working so much, I decided to reward myself with Thai food. My lab-mate joined me and it was nice to just catch outside of the work setting. I also decided to join my parents on part of their Seattle vacation in August! We will drive down together and I will fly back. I am so excited for this:

So I have been working out more lately which has lifted my mood. I was going to classes at the school gym but they upped the prices so I decided to look elsewhere. Plus, I figured since I am living with my parent (and hence saving money), I can spring for a gym membership. Turns out, a friend does ballet barre and I tried it/loved it! It is a combination of ballet and Pilates and appeals to my secret desire to be a ballerina. Unfortunately, I am not as graceful or coordinated as the rest of the people in my class but it is a GREAT work out. Perhaps its a secret because I am a bit embarrassed about it but I danced at Capital Theater when I was little and that made me fall in love with dance. I love dance shows: aka Dance Moms, So You Think You Can Dance, etc. and I was part of USC's chinese dance team for a bit. I've always wanted to dance more but there are few opportunities outside of ballroom dance for adults so ballet barre was a great fit. In other news, there has be...

CARE fair was a success. Even though I haven't held a stethoscope for two years, most of the physical exam came back easy. Besides...we had a cheat sheet on what we had to do so it was fine. Amongst the patients I saw was a women with carpel tunnel syndrome, a man with a herniated disc, and a girl with growing pains. It was cool to diagnose and pers ribe further treatment. After CARE fair, azzy and I went out for drinks at a dueling piano bar. It was really cool to watch the musicians go at it. I also got to see ash later at another bar so that was nice. Needless to say, I got home pretty late so this morning I slept in. The rest of the day was I eventful. I went on a date and it was fairly good. Then I went to Barnes and Nobel to read. The most exciting thing that happened is I got a happy meal for myself...yup you heard right. I loved happy meals as a kid so I thought why not indulge today and it was great! I got a minions toy and just enough food to feel satisfied. The boy ...

I have been trying to keep busy lately with volunteering, book club, kick-ball, writing papers, etc. but sometime it is hard not to still feel the lost of my friends. I know I still have some good friends here but they are all busy in clinic saving lives and shit so I've been trying to distract myself. Some days, it goes better then others and today was ok. I met with my PI to talk about figure order for my paper....did some experiments in lab....went out for a drink with a friend...and came home to skype with another friend. Though it has been hard, I am looking forward to certain things...aka...volunteering tomorrow night for the CARE fair, and planning my next trip. Varsh and I are thinking of going to Portugal + Morocco or maybe just Morocco. A few years ago, we were in Seville, Spain which is fairly close to Morocco. We were crunched on time so we didn't end up going and a part of me has regretted it since so I am ecstatic about the possibility of going this year. What I ...

So....my rescue experiment worked! YAY! If you have ever done research, you will know that it is not enough to find/define and phenotype. It doesn't matter if you think something is caused by a certain pathway or some gene is important for disease, you really have to prove it. And, the most definitive proof is if you can down/up-regulate that gene/protein/pathway and rescue your phenotype. Today, I accomplished just that aim! This means I can start writing my first paper all by myself. I feel like a big kid...you know...like one that doesn't have to wear diapers anymore or something along those lines. If all goes well, I can churn out another paper in the next few years and be done with this whole business. The only problem is, I've never actually written a paper. The last time I wrote something was for this blog and we all know how different scientific writing is. Eek...I am scared. 

Sometimes I wonder if the extremes of my emotions can lead me to do things I would normally regret. I guess it is all relative though right? Like how happy can you be if you have never experienced sadness or how silly r my current problems if I lived in a third world country? I am in a funk....maybe thinking about relativity can pull me out of it.

Today was uneventful except I had one of the worst dates ever. I kindof liked the guy so I was fairly hopeful going in but he took me to pei wei restaurant and was so arrogant/racist, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be mean and since I have been guilty of not giving people a real chance in the past, I proceeded with the date....going for a walk in a park. He had something else planned after that but I asked him to take me back to my car because I wasn't feeling it. Mean right? but I wanted to be honest and not waste either of our times. I think he was really hurt cause he thought it was going well but to make matters worse, he started telling me about all the girls interested in him and about how I was going to regret it. He told me that there is something wrong with me and that I probably have deep psychological issues I haven't dealt with. I told him he didn't have to be mean about it and that I think he is a good guy but not the right fit for me. I wi...

I want to give future me a taste of the happenings with current me (beyond career and dating) so: Baby: no longer a baby....love to play monkey (where she hangs on to my neck and I try to shake her off), loves liberty park, loves gloves to play cashier (where I "buy" items and she "checks" them out), and wants to be a nurse when she grows up (as of today). Parents: eager beavers on the hiking/traveling department. Summited Mt. Olympus recently. Heading to Washington next month for vacation Lilly: relationship rough spots abound. Trying to finish the summer strong with 3 jobs. Proud of her for:  http://solardecathlon.stanford.edu/team/# Favorite guilty pleasures: http://www.nytimes.com/video/landing/vows/1194811622327/index.html http://theunderweardrawer.blogspot.com/ http://mymilktoof.blogspot.com/ http://www.livingif.com/about/

Two unrelated topics. First, I am sick of being judged by PhDs to be incompetent because I am  also getting an MD! No, the PhD is not easier for me then it is for you. Yes, I don't have to take the same number of classes as you but I am SORRY if my 2 years of med school classes = your 1 year of PhD classes. And if I don't know something, it is not because I am a med student. It is because I actually don't know it! You didn't at one point either! I swear the arrogant wanna-be researchers who ARE MDs give us a bad rep. And the arrogant MD/PhDs just add fuel to the fire. Case in point...there is a fellow down the hall from me who is making everyone mad because he thinks he knows everything. Yet he can't get any data. It doesn't matter that everyone else can do the exact same procedure with favorable results...he just can't do it and he thinks it's not his fault. Then, I went to another MD/PhD's defense and she had nothing. NOTHING! No papers, no co-a...

I hope for a lot of things but I hate getting my hopes up. When I was little, I use to play a game where I try to imagine the worst outcome (never getting into college, family dying, etc) just so that I would be prepared for the worst. Not healthy I know but I am fearful of let downs. Maybe this is why I am most scared of letting other people down. I have a hard time saying no, a hard time ending relationships, and a hard time hoping in general. But, just to put it out there, I am feeling very hopeful today...to the point that it scares me and reminds of this Emily Dickenson poem: “Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all - And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard - And sore must be the storm - That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm - I’ve heard it in the chillest land - And on the strangest Sea - Yet - never - in Extremity, It asked a crumb - of me.

Today was a good day. I find that I am still sad about everyone being gone but for the first time since graduation, I am feeling like I'm finding my groove again.  Lab was SUPER busy. I had to dissect a bunch of mice and with the help of my undergrad, I finally got through it all. Then, I quantified my results for a LONG in vivo experiment and I think it worked. I still have to run statistics to see if my drug rescue was statistically significant but I will do it again if it is not. I just can't believe it worked! This means I can send my paper to a higher journal for publication and I am super excited. After work, I got to go to my monthly  book club  and today we discussed Hemingway's novel: Farewell to Arms. It is so refreshing to be in a room of highly intelligent people (many of whom are retired doctors) and to hear their perspectives on life. I find that in the midst of pursuing this career I sometimes forget what led me here which is the humanities and a lo...

You know those days when you get up and want to go straight back to bed? I just had one of those. I came to work and literally didn't want to do anything so I didn't. The great thing about research is that you can set your own time so I spend the morning planning my experiments for the rest of the week and filling out paperwork. Usually I HATE paperwork but since I didn't feel like moving (aka working), I sat at my desk all day. Some of the paperwork was necessary (ordering mice for future experiments, ordering reagents, encrypting my files), but some were just down right silly. For some reason the school of medicine requires me to fill out a "leave of absence form" every year. They know exactly where I am and when I will be going back and yet, they insist on this meaningless piece of paper. To make matters worse, they also require that I meet with a financial adviser even though I don't need financial aid and have never taken out a single loan. After I mee...