Temporary Shower

As promised, things are coming up. I successfully made it through my journal club and it went better then I thought. There was an "oh crap" moment when I realized I was on my last slide and there was still 1/2 hour left but people had a lot of questions so time flew by. I got grilled but thankfully, I think I combated the questions well. The chief of infectious disease was present and was very nice. He brought up a lot of good points too. Future mentor perhaps?...a girl's got to use what she can get. Right now, I am on a train to New York and super excited about it. The past 3 days has been filled with festive wedding prep and of course, the wedding itself. My friend was kind enough to let us stay at her beachside house and it was gorgeous. We went swimming in the ocean, bridge jumping, etc. The only downside was all the help required for the wedding. When I get married, remind me not to put friends to work. It is just not worth it. My impression of boston is that is...

I've had a couple of bad days starting with my first journal club on Tuesday where I got grilled by my PI. I know it's his style and everything but I just felt SO stupid! Even when he asked me things I knew, I got intimated and had trouble coming up with the answer. The most embarrassing thing is that I cried. Not just like a teardrop either. Sigh. I think all the stress built up and resulted in a flood much like when the Baymeadow dam broke....guess I will have to try harder next time. In addition, I got my Step 1 score back. It was really disappointing. I passed but got about average....I guess I'm good at being average. Haha...this post is a downer too. Sorry...guess it's just been super rough lately. Hopefully my presentation next Wednesday will be better....but seeing as my computer keeps shutting down without saving my powerpoint changes, who knows when I'll be able to complete this. I pray for a better post soon!

Uh....I think the med school to grad school transition is more stressful then studying for boards. I have two presentations coming up. My first TDS (Lab journal club) session next Tuesday then an MD/PhD journal club a week later. The good news is, I am almost ready to go with the first one...just have to run through it few more times to control the nerves. The second presentation is another story. I just started reading today and haven't made much headway. I went running this morning at 7am. Since it was the first run postboards, I was pooped. In addition, I had 5hrs of sleep last night because I hung out with a friend leaving. Add a few hours of lab work today, necessary errands, and family time. Needless to say, I had to take a nap! Sigh. It's SO SO nice outside and all I really want to do is play play play instead of preparing a talk on TRIM21 but work beckons.....at least I'm looking forward to Monday. I will get to do a retinal permeability experiment by myself (and th...

I believe that most things in life are attainable....the career you want, the car you wish you had, the house you would like to build. But, the one thing so elusive, and so independent of our own capacities is love. It bothers me that children grow up in loveless homes, that some people grow old lonely, and that all the riches in the world can mean nothing without someone to share it with. They say that love is a choice but I beg to differ. Afterall, how could a child choose to grow up without parents? How can you choose to love someone who will never love you back? Perhaps it's selfish because I have been given so much but if I could ask for one thing....it would be love....not the passionate love of brief circumstance but the hard, gritty love that ages...one that if ripped away, will make all things meaningless....

I knew coming into grad school would be hard but I didn't think it would be this hard. Perhaps it's me putting too much pressure on myself but I just hate disappointing people. Lately, with the lack of sleep comes a new onset of worries...will I be good enough? Am I going to be able to carry a project on my own? Crap I don't understand anything! Crap there won't be anyone to explain it to me! etc If anyone has been in a lab long enough, they know the success of a project is one part hard work, one part luck, and one part who you know so I'm trying to tred carefully and not piss anyone off. This is very tiring. Sometimes, I feel like I should wear a sign that says "Harmless idiot". lol On a different note, my glasses broke so I am wearing my contacts now...I'm not sure how I like them. On the one hand, it is convenient esp when I run/bike but I look really weird. I guess I just need to get use to it and have people around me stop gawking. At the en...

Today is one of those days that made me appreciate friends. I don't think I would have made it through two years of med school without the friends I had. As a person who is very Type A, I like to surround myself with a more laid-back crowd and in coming to med school, finding such ppl was my number one priority. I know it's weird but I'm a firm believer that the environment plays a huge role in our mood and the way we see the world. Luckily, I have an amazing group of friend and I know that most of them will be with me throughout life. For those who don't understand: med school is akin to military school. You see the same people 24/7 and you go through a lot of shit so the experience is bonding. The sad thing is, I am watching my friends move forward and I somehow feel like I am being left behind. I know in my previous post, I mentioned how this is a scenic route...the truth is; sometimes I wish I had people to share this route with....