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Dear Caila 17 months Old

Dear Caila, Nobody told me that being a mother meant worrying all the time but that is literally all I do and it is especially hard to stop worrying when you are away from me. There are times when you are with your dad, aunts, or grandparents when I allow myself to take a breath but now that you have started daycare, the worry is almost unbearable sometimes. I think a lot of it steams from the fact that I miss you. I miss us and all the specials days I got to spend with you over the last year. In two weeks, I will start residency and my time will no longer be mine. Of course we tried to set up my schedule so I can maximize time off with you but it will not be the same. Most weeks, I will only get one day off and it will be rare to see you on the other 6 nights since you go to bed at 7. I hope you will understand that this period of training is crucial to my career but I will always miss and worry about you when I am away. Today, when I dropped you off at ...
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Dear Caila 3.5 years old

Dear Caila Bear,   You are now 3 and a half years old. Where has the time gone? In the last 3 months, we have watched you become a big sister. You love Ellie and you especially like to hug her and stroke her cheek. In turn, she also loves you. I am excited to see your relationship develop.   Since March, we have been sheltering at home from COVID. Though it has been hard being a stay at home parent, it has also been fun watching you grow. You have learned more letters and have really gotten good at imaginative play. It is amazing to see how independent you can be.   You love the movie totoro and are currently on a mulan song binge. You are a master at logical manipulation. Some memorable phrases:   “ When I’m done with dinner, I get a treat” “ What are you eating? Open your mouth” “Can we share?” “Are you still sick mom? Can I have some of your drink?” “When I’m bigger, you will buy me a big pink car” “When I’m bigger, I will gi...
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Sharing and Caring

I have been volunteering for 4 years with the Sharing Place(  http://www.thesharingplace.org/ ) and each year I am amazing by the stories I hear. For those who don't know, this is a grief counseling program for kids who have lost one or both their parents. The particular group I work with is a suicide group where kids have lost a family member to suicide. Today was my first day of my 5th year with the program and it was difficult. On the one hand, a lot of the kids we worked with before have graduated but we now have a lot of incoming new families and each story is tragic in it's own way. We hear stories of fathers that shot themselves, mothers that hung themselves, and good or bad, it often leaves a sour note in the minds of those left behind. For kids, this is especially difficult because they often can't comprehend the reasons behind such senseless death. The kids don't process grief like the adults so we implement a form of play therapy where we provide the space...
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