Temporary Shower

Great New! I did well on my immunology test and I was able to get 2 wks off for Christmas from my boss so I'm officially going to China!. Now onto buying tickets and visas! Bad news....a friend from lab found out recently that she has to return to China much sooner then she anticipated. She was planning on staying till December but she is now leaving tomorrow. I feel bad for her but I also feel sorry for myself since I really really liked her. The whole situation made me think about how disconcerting life can be at times. That said, cancer boy contacted me and told me via email that he is all better. He also asked if I'd give him another chance and I said yes. Normally, I'd run away due to fear (esp fear of hurting him) but recent events have taught me that I have to take more risks...even if I'm not ready for them. I once told a dear friend that if we worry about hurting others, we are depriving ourselves from happiness. She gave the same advice back to me tonight.

I am sitting at Starbucks trying to cram for my Immunology exam tomorrow. It's weird to be studying for tests again, esp since this grad class is full of undergrads. In fact, the class goes at an undergrad pace so I find myself sleeping through most of it. This puts me in a per-curious situation because I now have to teach myself everything covered in the past 8 lectures. The good news is that that I know most of this stuff already from my med school immuno class so hopefully I'll be fine :) As for developments in my personal life....sigh...I started dating a guy who is new to the area so I'm like his first/only friend. He then found out he has testicular cancer. I feel bad but I just couldn't do this so after meeting/talking, we broke things off. I think cancer just hits too close to home for me. My first boyfriend had cancer and one of my residents has Li Frimani syndrome (P53 mutation). After being there for both of them, I just don't have the energy to do this....

Sorry for the long hiatus. Things have been busy but I'm prepping a poster now for our MD/PhD conference in two days. I have no real data but still....I have to present so I'm making do. I'm also learning to balance things again. I'm going to the gym every day now which is really good not only for my body but also for my psyche. And, I'm allowing myself to take time of for family/friends. Haha...I'm even starting to date again but in all seriousness, I'm not sure how long this balance will last. One of the things I'm loving is my roadbike. It's detracting me from running but I still have a month before my half marathon right? RIGHT? Lol...seriously though, I just feel so accomplished after hard rides on my bike. I'm thinking about going on a bike tour sometime next summer.... As for my family, Baby's birthday is coming up. She is turning 4. I remember when she was just a baby....time flies. She is now talking bucket loads and man...I lo...

As promised, things are coming up. I successfully made it through my journal club and it went better then I thought. There was an "oh crap" moment when I realized I was on my last slide and there was still 1/2 hour left but people had a lot of questions so time flew by. I got grilled but thankfully, I think I combated the questions well. The chief of infectious disease was present and was very nice. He brought up a lot of good points too. Future mentor perhaps?...a girl's got to use what she can get. Right now, I am on a train to New York and super excited about it. The past 3 days has been filled with festive wedding prep and of course, the wedding itself. My friend was kind enough to let us stay at her beachside house and it was gorgeous. We went swimming in the ocean, bridge jumping, etc. The only downside was all the help required for the wedding. When I get married, remind me not to put friends to work. It is just not worth it. My impression of boston is that is...

I've had a couple of bad days starting with my first journal club on Tuesday where I got grilled by my PI. I know it's his style and everything but I just felt SO stupid! Even when he asked me things I knew, I got intimated and had trouble coming up with the answer. The most embarrassing thing is that I cried. Not just like a teardrop either. Sigh. I think all the stress built up and resulted in a flood much like when the Baymeadow dam broke....guess I will have to try harder next time. In addition, I got my Step 1 score back. It was really disappointing. I passed but got about average....I guess I'm good at being average. Haha...this post is a downer too. Sorry...guess it's just been super rough lately. Hopefully my presentation next Wednesday will be better....but seeing as my computer keeps shutting down without saving my powerpoint changes, who knows when I'll be able to complete this. I pray for a better post soon!

Uh....I think the med school to grad school transition is more stressful then studying for boards. I have two presentations coming up. My first TDS (Lab journal club) session next Tuesday then an MD/PhD journal club a week later. The good news is, I am almost ready to go with the first one...just have to run through it few more times to control the nerves. The second presentation is another story. I just started reading today and haven't made much headway. I went running this morning at 7am. Since it was the first run postboards, I was pooped. In addition, I had 5hrs of sleep last night because I hung out with a friend leaving. Add a few hours of lab work today, necessary errands, and family time. Needless to say, I had to take a nap! Sigh. It's SO SO nice outside and all I really want to do is play play play instead of preparing a talk on TRIM21 but work beckons.....at least I'm looking forward to Monday. I will get to do a retinal permeability experiment by myself (and th...