Temporary Shower

Dear Ellie Belly,   Sorry it has taken me so long to write you your first letter. You came into this world 4 days early. I was trying to make it to my final midterm but you had other thoughts. Given how long your sister took to come out, I figured we has time but your birth was fast and furious. I went into labor around 6pm the night of 2/24/20 and barely made it to the hospital in time for an epidural at 8:30pm. I pushed you out in 4 pushes and you beat your sister in weight by 1 oz.   Since coming home, you have been a great baby. We didn’t have the breastfeeding issues or the weight issues I had with your sister since I knew what I was doing this time. You did have a bit of jaundice and we suffered through the bili blanket for a few days but thankfully that has all resolved.   Around 1 month, we were having a really hard time burping you after feeds, You would cry and cry and your dad and I had to take turns holding you at night. We were all miserable. I

Dear Caila Bear,   You are now 3 and a half years old. Where has the time gone? In the last 3 months, we have watched you become a big sister. You love Ellie and you especially like to hug her and stroke her cheek. In turn, she also loves you. I am excited to see your relationship develop.   Since March, we have been sheltering at home from COVID. Though it has been hard being a stay at home parent, it has also been fun watching you grow. You have learned more letters and have really gotten good at imaginative play. It is amazing to see how independent you can be.   You love the movie totoro and are currently on a mulan song binge. You are a master at logical manipulation. Some memorable phrases:   “ When I’m done with dinner, I get a treat” “ What are you eating? Open your mouth” “Can we share?” “Are you still sick mom? Can I have some of your drink?” “When I’m bigger, you will buy me a big pink car” “When I’m bigger, I will give this totoro to E

Dear Caila, You are now 2 and a half and life with you cannot be better. My work has slowed down now that I am in occmed. I have regular work hours; allowing for nights and weekends with you. It is the best. I want to remember your silliness, your short temper, your fondness for dancing to “your music”. I want to soak up your curiosity, cuddles, and fondness for books/movies beyond your age. We just found out we are going to having another baby next Feb or March. I am excited about another baby and a sibling for you but will miss our alone time. 7 month is not nearly long enough for me to inhale all that is you but I am going to try. We have a trip planned in October to Disney and many more weekend adventures on the horizon. You may not be my last kid but you will always be my first. You are the one that taught me how to be a mother and for you, my heart will always have a special place. Much love Mom

Dear Caila, Nobody told me that being a mother meant worrying all the time but that is literally all I do and it is especially hard to stop worrying when you are away from me. There are times when you are with your dad, aunts, or grandparents when I allow myself to take a breath but now that you have started daycare, the worry is almost unbearable sometimes. I think a lot of it steams from the fact that I miss you. I miss us and all the specials days I got to spend with you over the last year. In two weeks, I will start residency and my time will no longer be mine. Of course we tried to set up my schedule so I can maximize time off with you but it will not be the same. Most weeks, I will only get one day off and it will be rare to see you on the other 6 nights since you go to bed at 7. I hope you will understand that this period of training is crucial to my career but I will always miss and worry about you when I am away. Today, when I dropped you off at

Dear Caila Bear How are you 1 year old already!?!?!? Haha. Time just flew by. I am currently on an advance internal medicine rotation so aunt Lilly is watching you most days. In the last two weeks, you have started to walk on your own. Unfortunately, you are now fighting all your naps. Thank goodness you still go to bed easily at night and sleep 12 hours straight! We have advanced your diet. You now drink 6oz whole milk 3x a day. You also have learned to poop on the toilet (for the most part). It’s such a delight watching you learn new things. Watching you makes me sad that I won’t have as much time with you next year but I am going to milk these last few months of MS4. We have 2 really fun trips planed in March and then I have to do one more hard rotation in April but if I match here, we will be staying close to all our family and friends. Anyways, you continue to surprise us every day with how clever you are. About a month ago, you figured out how to open the baby ga