Dear Caila: 5 weeks

Dear Caila

I can’t believe you are over a month old already. Remember the weight gain issue? Well…we supplemented you with 1oz of formula for 4 days and you gained enough weight for us to try exclusively breastfeeding again. Around this time, I couldn’t take the breastfeeding pain anymore so I started to pump my right breast for you…giving that nipple a chance to heal. It was such a roller-coaster but the whole experience taught me that I am ok with formula feeding. Somehow, I thought an inability to breastfeed you meant some failure on my part. I am sure I will learn to overcome many such misconceptions in the future. Anyways, it’s been a few weeks and you are now almost exclusively breastfed.  I still worry about my supply going forward but at least we have formula to keep you happy and full.

I am sure all that breastfeeding talk is not what you are interested in but I wanted to document it in case you go through the same thing with your own children someday. It’s weird thinking you will grow up to be a full-functioning adult and that I may have grandkids one day…

At 1 month, you are SO cute but unfortunately you are also grumpy most of the time too. We figured out that you have reflux and sometimes you get so angry we can’t even burp you. The combination of reflux, gas, and inability to sleep through the pain makes you cranky but we are getting through it. Fortunately, your dad has been on paternity leave for the past two weeks. It’s been hard leaving you every day for my classes but Iuckily I have a very light spring schedule.

You are now 8lbs 14oz. You like to fall asleep feeding or in my moby wrap. You are so funny sometimes: cooing after being sufficiently burped, going all still when you are about to poo, adjusting your head in our hands when we prop you up, and looking around everywhere. I love watching you smile as you drift off to sleep. I know it’s just a reflex but it gives me a glimpse of how you will smile at us someday.


We are still trying to figure you out but I am looking forward to the weeks ahead as you become more interactive.

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