We accept the love we think we deserve

So I broke up with A yesterday. It was hard and took me a lot of thinking but I think it was for the best. I believe that love should be easy for the most part and that two people should not have to compromise so much. I also believe that communication is key to any relationship and I realized that A and I were just bad at  it. I never wanted to tell him my feelings for fear of angering him or pushing him away and when he gets upset, he just ask for a break. Such a relationship could never work and instead of torturing myself, I decided to let things go.

That said, this relationship has taught me a lot about who I am and what I want. I still think A is a great guy and hopefully some lucky girl will love him like he deserves some day but I also think I'm pretty great too. I know that is very arrogant of me but I believe I deserve a great love. I believe I deserve to want to come home to someone each day and wake up by their side each morning. I think relationships are hard and I don't look forward to getting back in the dating pool but I'm still young and willing to hold out for the right person. For now, I'm just going to enjoy being single :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Done!!!!

So I finally took the beast today and I guess it wasn't as epic as I though it would be. In my mind, it had been a life or death situation. I literally dreamed about it countless times last week. All in all, I have to say that I'm feeling pretty shitty right now. I just hope I passed and with a decent enough score to get into residency. Yuck. I keep thinking about all the questions I missed. Things I should of known (and did at one point) like the difference between positive sensing and negative sensing RNAs etc. I "lucked" out with a ton of pelvic anatomy questions and a ton of repro questions but luckily, I had studied for repro using pathoma. I do think I failed every anatomy question though....sigh...here's to praying that it all works out in the end... I guess I have never felt good after standardized exams. I'm not particularly good at them...SAT gave me nightmares, MCATs made me cry...at least I didn't cry after the test today lol. My family la
Read more

Undergrads aka Minions

Image
Today was fairly hectic. I woke up early for TDS (a version of journal club but for my lab only). Then, I planned out my experiments for the day. I managed to accomplish all but one of the experiments I had planned because it was just too hard to inject dye into baby mice. Don't worry. It doesn't hurt the mice but it does give me a nice permeability readout (if it had worked). One of the perks of moving up in the grad school world is that I have my own minions (undergrads). I am fortunate enough to have two and both have worked with me for almost a year now. They want to apply for medical school and I want their hands so I can get things done at a faster rate. So far, this has been working out with some lessons along the way: 1) Never assume someone you are training knows anything 2) Give them opportunities to answer questions and think through experiments but help if they are stuck (undergrad are like scared deer...they need to be pushed but not over the edge) 3) Be V
Read more

What goes down must come up?

I've had a couple of bad days starting with my first journal club on Tuesday where I got grilled by my PI. I know it's his style and everything but I just felt SO stupid! Even when he asked me things I knew, I got intimated and had trouble coming up with the answer. The most embarrassing thing is that I cried. Not just like a teardrop either. Sigh. I think all the stress built up and resulted in a flood much like when the Baymeadow dam broke....guess I will have to try harder next time. In addition, I got my Step 1 score back. It was really disappointing. I passed but got about average....I guess I'm good at being average. Haha...this post is a downer too. Sorry...guess it's just been super rough lately. Hopefully my presentation next Wednesday will be better....but seeing as my computer keeps shutting down without saving my powerpoint changes, who knows when I'll be able to complete this. I pray for a better post soon!
Read more