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I knew coming into grad school would be hard but I didn't think it would be this hard. Perhaps it's me putting too much pressure on myself but I just hate disappointing people. Lately, with the lack of sleep comes a new onset of worries...will I be good enough? Am I going to be able to carry a project on my own? Crap I don't understand anything! Crap there won't be anyone to explain it to me! etc

If anyone has been in a lab long enough, they know the success of a project is one part hard work, one part luck, and one part who you know so I'm trying to tred carefully and not piss anyone off. This is very tiring. Sometimes, I feel like I should wear a sign that says "Harmless idiot". lol

On a different note, my glasses broke so I am wearing my contacts now...I'm not sure how I like them. On the one hand, it is convenient esp when I run/bike but I look really weird. I guess I just need to get use to it and have people around me stop gawking. At the end of the day, this is how god made me and I refuse to wear make up/obsess about this.

Comments

  1. Lorenzo SewananJuly 25, 2011 at 12:36 PM

    Oh man, I think every time I joined a new lab, I felt that way. I remember listening to this professor once who was saying that science is hard because it makes you feel so stupid. I've always felt that way, but then I think that's maybe the cool part, because you don't need to understand everything to do science...but by doing it, maybe you understand it?

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