Getting your hopes up

I hope for a lot of things but I hate getting my hopes up. When I was little, I use to play a game where I try to imagine the worst outcome (never getting into college, family dying, etc) just so that I would be prepared for the worst. Not healthy I know but I am fearful of let downs. Maybe this is why I am most scared of letting other people down. I have a hard time saying no, a hard time ending relationships, and a hard time hoping in general. But, just to put it out there, I am feeling very hopeful today...to the point that it scares me and reminds of this Emily Dickenson poem:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet - never - in Extremity,

It asked a crumb - of me.